small pleasures

contentment is a new song that you don't want to stop playing, even though your fingers are very clearly about to bleed.
i was so scared that i wouldn't be able to write about this, about anything, be able to write ever again. four weeks of being virtually unable to lift my guitar without falling to pieces, i felt like a piece of me was dying, like my last hope was lost. four weeks of having stones in my heart and lead in my tongue, four weeks of terror that i had lost what was more important to me than anything in the world. four weeks of having lost myself. four weeks of having lost my voice.
but it came back. my voice came back. and she's quiet, and she's tired, and she hurts all over and she still cries a lot. but she's come home.
though i will never forgive myself for letting him walk out the door with my confessional heart, even though it didn't stay away long, i will always find my solace in the knowledge that it loved me enough to come home. even if he didn't.
one of these days i'll forget that i love you