mixed blessings and headaches

he reached for me as i walked away from the immediate trackside. this man, this creature in the blue and green aloha shirt and the molesterstache reached for my arm as i passed him. i'd seen him watching me as i stalked the platform, trying to burn off the stormclouds that had been gathering above my head all night.

he reached for me just minutes before the train came. i felt the brush of his fingertips on my wrist as i crossed his line of vision and twisted wildly to avoid the contact. i twisted too far and came close to swan diving onto the tracks. i righted myself and charged to the end of the platform, taking refuge behind a garbage can and stomping my combat boots to remind myself that i was still there, that i'd not fallen onto the third rail, that i'd not allowed a stranger the undeserved luxury of entering my personal space.

but i could still feel his fingertips, clammy and wanting, on the sleeve of my jacket.

five minutes later, the four shots of tequila and two margaritas kicked in and i was suffused with a pleasant numbness as i fumbled with the pod for some sounds to drown out what remained of what i felt. i slid down the wall to rest on my heels, dropping my head and closing my eyes. waiting for my chariot to come for me. waiting for my head to clear.

i've sobered up quite a little since.

*