hm. maybe i should listen to my own lyrics more often.

you know what?

this is ridiculous.

i am not a shrinking violet. i am not a mewling kitten. i may not be as tough as i project but i'm not as weak as i've been for the last few days. that is neither who i am nor where i want to be. it was a different debacle, i suppose, and that is where i can hang my explanation for my behavior. change sometimes makes for a difficult adjustment.

this is a struggle. that has not changed. the gauntlet has been thrown, the die has been cast. now am i going to acquiesce, or am i going to fight?

now that i've returned to my senses, i think we all know the answer to that.

i am going to show these people that i am better than they think of me, that i can pull myself out of my own pit and blow them all away. and then i am going to walk out the door to a brand new job where it won't take every fiber of my being to accomplish that.

this is place is not going to know what hit it, if it's the last goddamn thing i do. i am going to make sally sue eat her words (so to speak) with my resolve and utter fabulosity.

i'm turning into my own song lyrics. how bizarre.

but feel free to join me in visualization exercises, nonetheless.