hallelujah

they say there was a secret chord

that david played and it pleased the lord

but you don't really care for music, do you?

it went like this,

the fourth, the fifth,

the minor fall, the major lift

the baffled king composes hallelujah

today was the last performance of much ado about nothing. as with all things when they end, there's a twang of remorse and sadness. but, quite frankly, the rock star of messina was ready to hang up her spurs. having lost her technicolor eyes anyway

your faith was strong but you needed proof

you saw her bathing on the roof

her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

she tied you to a kitchen chair

she broke your throne, she cut your hair

and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

i can be described in the angle of the brow and the point of the chin.

i have seen this place before

i know these walls, i've walked this floor

i used to live alone before i knew you

i saw your flag on the marble arch,

love is not a victory march

it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

i am feeling slightly more myself after a fairly sullen and sallow few days. constant companionship of all shades and angles acted a marvelous shepherd, as well as the sensitivity of those who understood that if i wanted to speak of my thoughts, i'd bring it up without them asking. and bore with my unforgivable moodiness when i did not.

there was a time you'd let me know

what's real and going on below

but now you never show it to me, do you?

and every time i moved in you,

the holy dark was moving too

and every breath we drew was hallelujah

i know i'm a hypocrite. i know i rail at the heavens about wanting to know what's running around your head, no matter how you want to protect me from your whims. and then i refuse to speak about what's consuming me right now. and so i leave you to skirt the question and look at me with those concerned eyes and probably wonder why i am so quiet. and i just want you to know that i'm not speaking because i am young and small and weak enough to know that i am not ready to speak without dissolving. and i wasn't sure i was ready to show you that in the flesh, either the dissolution or the stature. i haven't been ready to admit that this big tough girl is nothing of the sort.

Maybe there's a God above

And all I ever learned from love

was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you

Its not a cry you can hear at night

Its not somebody who's seen the light

Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

but thank god i don't have so bleak a view of love as leonard cohen, platonic or otherwise. i may be a pessimist but i'm not that cynical yet.