wherefore art thou, mean reds?

i frequently find that my brain is light years ahead of the rest of me in certain matters. the problem is, i can generally tell when it's gotten ahead of me but rarely why, and am thus doomed to confusion, experiencing only the by-products with none of the clarity. today, my brain has gotten a hold of something. it's simmering and percolating, and over what i have no idea. it's something negative, that i know because i'm being really quite irrational today--my thoughts are skittering all over the place and laced with pessimism (more than usual. hush). i can hear it ticking...no, wait. that's my jaw. perhaps it's because i'm going to a hospital this afternoon...and hospitals are not pleasant places for little ninjas. the smell, and the light, and...yes. don't like them, particularly. ah, well. ignorance, as they say, is bliss, and if i'm lucky, whatever it is unsettling me will sort itself out by the time i figure it out. i, strangely, have a little faith.