another tirade

have you ever noticed how frequently and how casually we bring up where someone is from in our introductions? as though that knowledge will reveal some sort of fundamental truth about a person.

-oh, so-and-so's from maine/california/colorado/lebanon.

-well, that explains it!

what?

granted, i know there are certain attributes that are shaped by the culture in which one grows up. but really! just because someone's from maine/california/colorado/lebanon doesn't mean anything about who they are.

i suppose i'm a bit sensitive about this, because, being from california, many people automatically assume i'm vapid and new age and "talk like this so everybody can see my gummmmmmmms." not so, thank you. except when i'm very excited. the thing is, though, i find that in certain ways, people use this information against me, as they frequently do when they learn my age. all of a sudden some credibility gets lost because of what people assume i am supposed to be by virtue of my background.

i was never bothered by the facts of foundation that i cannot change, until someone used them against me. and i've been very sensitive about them ever since.

example:last night, out with boy. boy says something along the lines of "so, the last girl i dated seriously was a lot younger than i am, and it ended really badly..." at which point i came up with something like "tell me now that i'm too young for you to see again and i will break your face." (we have serious abandoment issues and very sensitive scars left by the last one who pulled that on me) probably not really good first date material. to his credit, though, this was his response: a kiss, a giggle, and then "no, i just wanted to warn you that i'm kind of scared of girls right now."

okay, weird, yes. i found it sweet. but then, i'm stupidly smitten, aren't i.

kindly keep all fingers crossed for this not to go to hell.

oh, and he's from maine.