countdown of the ridiculous.

i have a date with mystery boy tonight. i'm several shades of apprehensive about it, all stupid.

the disappointment center goes into overdrive. i really hope i live up to a better expectation than he's got, but i fear it's more likely that i somehow won't measure up.

arg.

grumble.

where is my self-esteem today? where is my confidence? goddamnit, i am a firece and fabulous female, i know this, so why am i so out of my tree about this?

actually, i know why. it's the same reason it always is. god, what i wouldn't give to silence that particular train of thought.

i want a cigarette. but i've got stick dancing at 1. and it's sufficiently hardcore that if you don't go in with clean lungs, you will, in fact, die.

come on, people, i know a few of you read this thing. i need a pep talk here! i've got six hours and fifteen minutes to psych myself up for this event. i need all the help i can get.