squishy, like moldy wood.

i feel as though somewhere along the line this week, someone opened up my head and removed a fair chunk of my memory circuits.

honestly. this week has just been a big, weebly blur. and while that's kind of nice, because it means that it's going by quickly, it mostly just makes me feel strange and lost. like i've lost my anchor to reality. i feel very small and vulnerable without my ability to account for myself at all times.

for god's sake, some of what i did yesterday is a certifiable blur. i didn't do anything illicit yesterday! i didn't even go to the thursday session, which is normally one of the highlights of my week, because i felt so awful, strange and nebulous! i went home and fell asleep during a french film. and watched a little bit of star wars:episode one (quivering in fear and disbelief the whole time at its rank and skeeving awfulness). i know i had some conversations in there, fuck if i know about what.

i know i called boy as i was leaving work, to apologize for leaving such an asshole message. i don't know what i said, exactly, though.

ugh. hey biscuit, you know how i said i was going to try and shy away from assuming the worst in this little endeavor? well, i'm failing miserably right now. i feel like badness is just around the corner.

alas.

oh well. he was never going to call me kitten, anyway.