this is me

this is me, wondering if it's as cool outside as it is dark.

this is me, having just made it through yet another conversation with my coworkers about september 11.

this is me, feeling somehow unentitled to my bad mood.

this is me, wondering why he didn't call.

this is me, wondering why they never do.

this is me, no longer wondering why another he didn't call.

this is me, really working hard to focus myself enough to make it through the rest of the day.

this is me, hoping that my bathroom door will have been replaced on its hinges by the time i get home.

this is me, wondering what the hell i'm going to do with myself tonight.

this is me, wondering why cd labels cost $20.

this is me, really wanting to go out and do something stupid.

this is me, trapped in the hinterland of skepticism.

this is me, wanting to help, and feeling somehow rebuffed.

this is me, wanting this feeling to go away.

this is me, wanting...everything to be okay.

this is me wondering if it will ever happen again.

.

in other news, fox plans to air an anniversary special about september 11, called the day america changed. someone want to detail that change to me? because i sure as hell don't see it.