a big day for fortresses

today is bastille day.

today i wore a beret.

the two events are unrelated.

change is an absolutely terrifying thing, i think. this is on my mind because at this very second, new roommate is unpacking his stuff. changing the timbre of the apartment once again. at the moment, i am one of the few familiar things in this apartment. oldroommate's couch is still here, of course, but many other things are gone. it's odd. last time i had someone new moving in, i had the ex here with me, something else to help me get a sense of my placement within these walls. now, there's just me.

i don't always do so well being my own tether to reality.

and as a result, i've got the creeping dreads, not helped by the fact that we've a cavalcade of scary people coming in to the office next week.

but, despite the creeping dreads, i am hopeful, i am optimistic. i have to be or else i'm going to lose it completely.

ah well. at least this time around, i've a much better developed sense of who i am. that does make things a little easier. i guess this is one of those growing up things. doesn't really make it easier.

hm.

wistful.

anyway.

more to follow, naturally. eventually, i'll have to discuss friday night...