i don't know, i feel like something's happening

i am restless.

i am afraid.

i am nervous and uncomfortable.

i am tense.

i am edgy.

and i haven't the faintest fucking clue why. it's not nic-fitting or caffeine detox, because i haven't given either of those up. all i know is that i woke up this morning having hurled my blankets all the way to the other side of the room and with distinct memories of flolloping wildly around my bed for most of the night. same thing the night before.

sometimes i wish i had a walnut cracker to take to my subconscious. because if this is a premonition, i sure as hell want to know what it is i'm tapping into. because for it to agitate me this much, it's got to be something worth knowing, for good or bad.

bloody premonitions. i'm not terribly in to this whole psychic friends business, but i do believe that there's a big ether stream that we don't see much of, but get to dip our toes in once in a while. just enough to make our hair stand on end. i also believe that pisces are particularly susceptible to these little moments. because we're so goddamn sensitive. i've had a few moments myself, though never for anything particularly huge. just conversations half-remembered from dreams occurring eight months later. knowing instinctively that some asshole that i can neither see nor hear is going to come tearing around the corner any second and kill what's in its path. things like that. and, of course, the nameless sensations that come when i know, just know that everything is going to be alright. and the nameless, creeping sensation when something may well be about to go horribly, horribly wrong.

unfortunately, the two tend to manifest themselves in the same way. and thus, i'm distressed, because i don't know if it's about to be creeping horror or shining joy.

hope for the latter, eh? i'm getting the feeling i could use the moral support. preemptively.

oh, and you get fifty points if you can name the song that i got this entry's title from.