rantastic!

i'm looking for something, but i don't know what it is. i know there's something out there that will fill whatever void it is niggling at the back of my consciousness...if only i knew what it was. i'm sitting here, poised at the ready, fingertips at the go-get to type into the ether what my heart's desire is, just to punch it into the great cosmic labyrinth and get it get it get it.

but i simply can't figure out what it is.

although, logic would dictate that it's a new job. that would be nice. i'm still smarting from that email of doom from friday. and though we done smacked that monkey up, and got johannesburg into a semblance of order...well...my desire to stay is shrinking. i'd like to try something different, something really different. i'd like to try...pr, or advertising...but from what i can tell, this year that i've put in in marketing has rather screwed me for trying something new. disheartening. i'm going to keep trying, though.

the really annoying thing is that fiscal stuff keeps getting in the way. do i stay on through november, when we get paid three times? do i wait until january, so i can get my end-of-the-year bonus?

of course, this is all wishful. this is all assuming that someone's actually going to want to hire me. and after last summer's experience, i know to tread carefully on that particular hope.

in a perfect world, i'd find something fabulous in november, but they wouldn't need me until the beginning of the year. or the middle of january.

but, to be honest, i know i won't get out of here before january. because i want to build the new site, and because i think my boss (who i like very much)'s head might explode if we hire a new person to support me and then i go gallivanting off. it's just not very nice.

so, i guess i'll go about it this way: travel softly and just apply here and there, starting now...and then go hell-for-leather somewhere in between november and january.

unless, of course, something fabulous happens in the meantime. which is always possible.

hm.

today, biscuit and i both contacted a magazine that needs writers. god, i hope we get it. because i know i need something like that super badly. even without pay, it would be super good for me.