happy anniversary

it's here.

*

i was speaking on the phone yesterday to a customer service rep from ikea...it was a rather, ah, unique experience. the conversation went a little something like this, beginning with her:

"you're going to be really unhappy with me..."

"why?"

"because we don't have the cutting board that you want. i'm really sorry."

"oh, that's okay. don't worry about it."

"oh, good. this other woman i was speaking to, i told her we didn't have the wooden spoons that she wanted, and she pretty much took my head off."

"really? that was unnecessary. was she from new york?"

"yeah."

"yeah, my guess is that new yorkers in general aren't going to be particularly pleasant for the next few days. try not to hold it against us, we don't mean it."

"it's pretty high stress right now."

"yeah."

and there's some more idle chatter, eventually it comes out that she lost someone in the WTC. and the phone call goes to pieces. i'm trying to be reassuring because i can hear her getting misty, while trying to give her my address and everything so i can get my stuff, while assuring her that it's okay that it's taken her a few tries to get my credit card number right because i can hear her starting to weep on the other end of the line...

strange, definitely strange.

but not wholly unexpected.

okay. i know this is a day of mourning, a day of reflection, and for many, a day of great fear and apprehension. but i want to say this. at risk of sounding the ridiculous optimist...hey, people, hey, new york. we made it. we were scared out of out minds much of the time, but we made it through the longest, hardest, scariest, most confusing year in living memory. we proved that when someone tries to pull a tonya harding on our collective asses, we take the road of nancy kerrigan and soldier on with a limp and a brave smile. we proved that comfort can be found in strangers and strength in our own weakness. we proved that we can rise above having a moron act as our leader and stumble onward with grace and aplomb. just keep it together through the rest of today, and chalk up another huge battle to victory. the first anniversary is the hardest, it always is. but we've made it this far. we can make it just a little bit further. and then we can start over.

i love you. it's not much to offer, but it's all i've got. and from what i can tell, if we're going to make it through today, we're going to need every ounce of firepower we've got. so stick that in your arsenal and smoke it.