psychosis

i've discovered today that i think i might have a new disorder: email fantods.

seriously.

i frequently have severe issues over sending out emails, particularly if there's a group of recipients involved. i check the facts, double-check, triple-check...and i get flushed, i get strange butterflies in the pit of my stomach whenever i hit the send button.

quite frankly, it's embarrassing.

i'm fairly certain it all ties in with my perfectionist tendencies. if i have an ounce of control over a situation, i want it to be perfect. at least, as much as can be reasonably expected. and when it's not, i feel like an ass. so, i think that's what it is with my email anxiety. it's nice to have a point upon which to affix this strange affliction of mine.

that does not, however, mean that it doesn't have to go.

especially now that i've engaged in flirt via that medium, i've got to just GET OVER IT. and, for god's sake, the level of insanity i felt when i actually did respond to that which i am really hoping was a flirt...well...let's just say you would have thought that that particular experience would have simply cause the disorder to exhaust itself, and burn itself out.

yeah.

she says as her stomach flutters and she feels the crimson seeping through her cheeks.