further

it would be so easy to wax rhapsodic, to delve into metaphor and schmaltz and cliche...but i won't. because i know exactly what this is and exactly what it's not, despite the whispers in my ear at midnight saying that this may be the time, just enough dust may have settled.

i know better than to bite a line like that. however much the speaker might believe it himself.

i know this much is true: it's been a long time since i've been looked at like that. particularly by a repeat offender. and it is a look worth traveling leagues for. it is the kind of look that shores up your faith when the rest of the world seems too dark to even look in to. because it says so much i need to hear even with the words missing. even if months elapse between. that i am beautiful, that i am bright, that i make someone happy. all these things, if only for a second. and sometimes, when it gets dark, i forget that i can do these things, that i am these things. you've all seen it. you know what happens when the dark creeps in.

but we all know it only takes a little light to banish it again. for a little while. for long enough to mend the worst wounds.

i know what can be given in this case. and i what i can give back. we made a deal. and i will never ask for more than i offer.

i feel as though there's a bit of me waking up that's been asleep for months. i think that once upon a time it was called peace.

such a change...from one who takes what he wanted from me without asking once, to one (with whom i've a history) who took five hours to figure out where we stood before touching my arm.

never let it be said i don't live my life in extremes.