imagine what i'll be like in april

so, i woke up at 4am, to discover that not only does the sanitation department continue in their refusal to collect my refuse, but one ENTIRE TRASH CAN has gone missing. so, imagine my joy upon discovering that i am about to get FUCKED by our federal government. explain to me what my $800 (on top of the $3000 i've already paid) is buying me? from what i can tell, it's buying me a rent hike, fewer police, fewer firemen, and a loss of my right to smoke in public. general unease and a slow in crease of panhandlers that grow more aggressive every day.

so. i guess what i'm saying is...

tell me something good. now. because i've had a weekend of cold showers and confusion and thwarted fights and insane jealousy and not a little bit of fear and i'm ready to stop feeling freaked out and lost. not like i haven't been for the last year, but really. does it ever get better? am i ever going to stop feeling jittery and jumping at shadows, wondering if i'm going to be able to pay the bills this month?