dreamboat

i have been plagued, of late by a rather stiff spate of lucid dreams. i thought i'd been inheriting them from roos (who is a chronic imbiber of the stuff) while we shared a room in mexico...but i've been having them myself since my return.

i can only recall them in their full technicolor plumage for a few moments after i've woken--which is why i couldn't really tell you what they're about right now....but while they last...wow. it's like having an entire other life.

like i'm in another world.

sometimes i think that that's what all dreams are, inward passage to another place. though ostensibly i know that they are process overflow, the snippets and gristle of daytime that my subconscious mind has chosen not to digest, i feel that they're more. i feel, sometimes, that there is literal vortex hiding inside my brain, and when night falls it twists me inside out, pulling me through the whirlpool into the shadowlands.

i'm not expressing myself very well, am i?

suffice it to say that sometimes i really, literally feel that i'm leading a double life.

dreamy.

oh, and double points for anyone who can reveal to me the accepted meaning of "the fix is in," outside of political pundicizing. unless that's the only correct context in which it can be taken...