memorial

and like clockwork, it hits. memorial day weekend, the heat of summer drops upon the city like an anvil, enclosing us all in its sticky embrace. it's close, and sweaty, and more than a little bit uncomfortable.

and i love it.

i don't know how to explain it, really, the way one's perception of the world changes as the tar-like warmth of the season appears. i think it has something to do with hope, or with community. we take to the streets here, hanging out on stoops and street corners in a vain attempt to cut the weight of the air; after months of isolation born of the bone-chilling cold, and the terrifying notion that one will never be warm again, we seek the camaraderie of our fellow city-dwellers, reminding ourselves in the scant weeks of the season that it doesn't always have to be so hard. that for a short period, we're allowed to be human.

it certainly doesn't hurt that new york city comes alive in the summer, resplendent in a shimmering coat of concerts and plays, beer on the patio and
brunch outdoors, picnics in the park and late nights and all the majesty that entails.

i used to hate the summer here, with its wicked embrace and endless threat of sleeplessness. i would curse the dampness that hangs in the air perpetually from june 1 through early september; now, however, i welcome and adore it. i don't know if it's a backlash against winter's steely clutches and the chill that winter settles in my bones for longer stretches each year, but i suddenly and strangely find myself in love with this demonic season.

summer is sweat and sunblock, cold beer and humid nights; torrid romances and wonderful friendships; swollen feet and dextrous fingers. it is laughter and staying up far too late on schoolnights, of frisbee in the park and barbecues. it is a feeling of certain abandon. it is arrested adolescence in the face of the stern warnings of all other seasons. it is everything i need to remind myself why the fuck i put up with living in this complex, wonderful, impossible place. it's a reprieve from our staid reality.

...i took friday off work; the last day that i'm likely to be granted before the end of june. i spent it lurking in the park with a new friend, drinking vast quantities of iced coffee and getting my nails done, window shopping; a man on the street let me use his telescope to look at saturn. i passed through a film set right outside my front door. my feet are filthy from walking barefoot in prospect park, and my skin feels heavy from all the sunlight it absorbed.

it was a day full of the useless pursuits that make life worth living. and my god, how i needed it.

summer changes everything.