recapping.

so time has this habit of getting away from you at warp speed when you're really, really stressed. all the time. and when you come out of utter stress mode, it's like coming off the freeway in southern california (if you're not driving during rushhour, that is)--suddenly everything snaps back to a speed where you can process it, and it's disorienting.

and then you look at the vast gaping chasm that was once your blog and think "hmmm. whoops. should probably do something about that, don't you think?"

so here i am.

as for what i've been doing these last couple weeks? well, there's been rehearsal. there's been work (and really, you shouldn't ask me about that). there's been the shattering realization that, if i'm going to have a wedding this august, i should probably start PLANNING that motherfucker. and there's been this.

that's right, the beast is live. and while we as a band are enormous teases in that our music section remains a little thin on the ground, we're REALLY CLOSE to remedying it. scout's honor. if you go and look at it and sign up for our mailing list, we might move a little faster.

just saying.

i think our mouse is a female...

so, mouse troubles continue in the house of ShivDom. despite our continual efforts and the ministrations of our friendly neighborhood exterminator, we still find ourselves blessed with small, rodent houseguests. fortunately, we've given up on using namby-pamby gluetraps (remember wily mousezilla, and his fantastic ability to pluck the bait from the very center of the deadly sea of glue) and the terrifying snap traps of doom are proving most effective. well, as effective as can be expected in the face of a neverending onslaught of mouselings. there have been so many (three. THREE!), that we'd almost resigned ourselves to living harmoniously with the little critters, tired of finding snapped mice on the stovetop/in the bathroom/next to the refrigerator in the morning. we were feeling a wee bit cruel. perhaps, didn't they deserve to not be killed, if they weren't hurting anyone?

and THEN, the little bugger started to demonstrate a sweet tooth. and if you know anything about women, you know to pity the fool who comes between a lady and her chocolate. and come between us the mouse did, first taking a chunk out of the ghiradelli bar dom was to use to make chocolate bread pudding, and then--last night--eating the chocolate coating off of an ENTIRE HALF of dom's prized Lion bar. an ENTIRE HALF. that's akin to me eating an entire two-pound box of godiva chocolates at one sitting. so, while i'm repulsed and feeling more than a little territorial, i can't help but be impressed at the beast's tenacity. and remarkable ability to process vast quantities of sugar.

this doesn't change the fact that bitch is going down for pilfering the chocolate supplies, but you know. props where props are due. give it some respect before my sister comes to town with the corgi (a remarkable mouser, apparently) and this little problem is sent to the big sweet shop in the sky.

valentine, the destroyer (well, no, not really)

i would like to wax rhapsodic about the joys of love or whatever on this very special hallmark holiday, blah blah blah, but it's disgusting out and i've been up since 3am.

so, you know. i'll have to get back to you on that. because sleet and delirium don't really inspire poetry in my soul.

insomniac.

i've been awake for nearly three hours. there is, i'm sure i don't need to tell you, something horribly wrong with this picture.

loud.

my brain has officially slipped into neutral. on, i fear, a permanent basis. hopefully not, we shall see. all i know is that lately, finishing a sentence has

see?

so anyway. a mishmash and jumble of what has been rattling around my head lately, just to give you an idea of what's happening:

am i an embarrassing drunk?
am i going to quit my job when we run off for the wedding?
are they really going to make me get baptized?
why can't i find any new music that i like?
can i actually justify upgrading my pod?
do i need a recording more than i need a vacation?
did my taxes get filed properly, or did i make some stupid mistake?
why does it smell like chinese food this early in the morning?
is it spring yet?
why can't i make the photo gallery work on our website yet?
why am i finding it so difficult to start planning my own damn wedding?
who is going to make my angry girl music now that ani difranco has started making avant-jazz?
can i afford to get a facial and massage sometime before i turn into a wizened and twisted creature of tension?
why is my hair so dry?
when are those people going to get back to me?
why am i finding it so difficult to wrap my head around thoughts?
where are we going to find a stool for the kitchen at such short notice?
is tom waits ever going to tour?
are they really going to release the second season of twin peaks on dvd this september, or are they just taunting me?
when the hell are they going to release a movie that i actually want to see?
oooh, wait--when does constantine come out?
why does the laundromat keep losing my socks?
now that my station for work is penn, i understand the contempt that many new yorkers have for the bridge and tunnelers--they have NO IDEA how to navigate a subway platform.
am i ready to dye my hair scarlet?
why am i so tired all the time?
does it make me weak if i don't want to be in this city anymore?
is it wrong that i'm irked that my mother is making me feel guilty about the fact that plane tickets to england around our wedding day are so expensive? is everyone irritated with us about that?
it's the extra hour in the day that just kills me.
i am a terrible shopper.
am i going to be able to complete ANY work today?
i need a vacation.
i also need a recording of the band. see dilemma above.
is it actually possible to stress yourself into oblivion?
do i cry too much or not enough?
what is the next logical step?
am i ever going to be able to write again?

and on that eternally ponderous note, i close this entry, becuase that last question reaches into more than one corner, as you may have noticed.

yeah, we were surprised, too.

a funny thing happened last night. the band had booked a low-profile gig at a club down in the financial district--a real dive, but it was one of the first places to book me in new york, so i have a soft spot for it. it took some convincing to drag the band down there, but drag down we did, full of vim and enthusiasm that was mildly confused when we saw...

the orange bear was not open. it was not only shuttered, but gutted. given that we'd only made the booking about a week ago, this came as a bit of a surprise--you'd THINK that the booking guy would have made some mention if the club had been scheduled to undergo major remodeling the day we were meant to play, or at least given us a phone call if it had been raided and remaindered by a horde of roving sandinistas or something.

never let it be said that i do not bring excitement and novelty into the lives of my bandmates. as ben said: "i've played a lot of gigs in this city, and seen a lot of weird things...but i've never shown up to a gig to find the club shut down."

so there's one band milestone we can cross off the list.